saddumbgirl: cute messages make me instinctively hide my face in my hands and fall to one side on my bed
krabkrust: seblaine: circletines: IF YOU SAY THE WORD BATTERIES REALLY FAST IT SOUNDS LIKE YOURE SAYING “PARIS” IN A FRENCH ACCENT WORD OF WARNING THIS ONLY WORKS IF YOU HAVE AN AMERICAN ACCENT IF NOT YOU WILL JUST SIT IN YOUR ROOM LIKE A KNOB SAYING BATTERIES It sounded like i was saying ‘PATRICE’ in a french accent to be fair
merelyafleshwound: luciferisasexybagofdicks: iepidemic: hotapplestrider: twelvejammiedodgers-andafez: on a scale of one to invade russia in the winter how bad is your idea rejecting hitler from art school holy shit electing george bush twice hooking up with taylor swift
jaseherondale: childrapist666: edwad: jaseherondale: Did you know that in Australia it’s five times more likely that you’ll pick a partner based on humour rather than looks so if you’re ugly but a hilarious motherfucker then you’re almost guaranteed love yea but have u ever seen an ugly australian i am waiting for an ugly australian to add their selfie to this post pls do it is...
jinn0uchi: dendropsyche: OKAY so i just saw the most ridiculous thing at the store today so we come across this thing and we discover you can turn it inside out and ITS HELLO KITTY I’M HSE’S EVEN GOT HER OWN LITTLE CHICKEN DRUMSTICK IM SO DONE why the fuck
berepah: mskneesocks: you’re the only one who understands me google i tried to scroll past i really did
ladyhistory: thranduil0ropherion: Hey, let’s see what Swedish Man has been up to! …oh. TRYING TO SPLIT ATOMS IN HIS KITCHEN
This is what Yahoo paid $1.3 Billion for.
psychoticmist: if you ever feel bad about yourself remember that george bush was once informed that 4 brazilian people were killed in iraq and he responded ‘how many is a brazilian’
emilioestevez: story time so about 7 months ago, my girlfriend at the time asked me to move in. so i did and we lived together for roughly 6 weeks. she asked me to move out until i was mature enough to live with a girl because in those 6 weeks i drew a dick on her face while she was sleeping 11 times.
lastknownwriter: notquiteluke: nepeter: im really mad because boobs sounds too hilarious, tits sounds too vulgar, breasts too pretentious and any other words just make me want to laugh what word am i supposed to use while writing rumble spheres globes of fury
westbor0baptistchurch: zackisontumblr: so this blog just started following me
tears-in-the-tardis: sometimes my mood is ‘beyonce’ but other times its ‘white person in an infomercial’
abuserr: this girl in my physics class asked who invented walking
romulusthread: MY MATH TEACHER SAW ME TEXTING AND MADE ME STAND IN FRONT OF THE ROOM AND HE TOLD ME TO READ THE TEXTS BUT I WOULNT SO HE TOOK MY PHONE AND READ THE LAST THREE ON THERE OUT LOUD AND THE FIRST ONE WAS “IM HUNGRY” AND MY FRIEND REPLIED WITH “HUNGRY FOR SEMEN” AND I SAID “TRUE THOUGH” IMGONNA JUMP OFF A BUILDING